tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58967928193381022142024-02-08T01:49:55.864-08:00NICUCMECokashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170000660349809248noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5896792819338102214.post-45499679414583506382015-02-02T19:31:00.001-08:002015-02-02T19:31:04.565-08:00It's happening….We have been killing it! Trips to Colorado, California, events at the dome and constant creation and manifestation. There is so much to be thankful for and at the same time so much to accomplish. The dome is an amazing place to have as our home base. The shows and events that have taken place here since we have moved in are just epic. It's amazing that just now it is coming full circle and that we are returning to Costa Rica to revisit Finca Mia and to sit with Cristina in addition to attending Envision Festival over our 3 week excursion. The kids are excited, Melissa and I are excited, and along the way so much has been happening and evolving. We are looking forward to building an eco-village right in our backyard and growing the ever amazing group of people that continue to work hard, play hard, and create so much beauty. The art, the music, the events, the magic. I have so much to say but for now I'm just checking in to say thank you. I have grown, I have learned, I am grateful. I know that the key for me is the details, the nuances, and the subtleties. All of the little things that really make the difference in life and really show people that care. I am practicing this, I am working towards becoming the person I want to be. Letting go of smoking on June 9th, 2014 was simple and necessary. Letting go of drinking alcohol on September 20th, 2014 has been liberating. These are small steps in the path to an enlightened and satisfied person. I've been meditating, learning music, practicing circus arts, snowboarding, and spending amazing QT with my family. I will continue down this path and I will grow. I have a lot of love to give, I am so thankful to the people around me. I'll try to come here again soon. For now, love and light.Cokashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170000660349809248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5896792819338102214.post-17623065578560082862012-08-22T11:16:00.001-07:002012-08-22T11:16:24.074-07:00Here we go!This keeps happening. I have a ton of stuff going on, going down, and I'm not sure if its driving me crazy or keeping me going. Is the grant coming? I think so. Are we buying a geodesic dome home? I think so. Is Bean & Leaf moving? Yes. Am I in love with my wife? Yes. Is work everything I hoped it would be? I think so. The only thing I would change right now is the time I get with the kids and away from work. It's an extremely fine line with working, vacation, weekends, and side work, side commitments, and QT with my family. I want people around me to be happy and I try to make that so. As long as I stay focused on happiness, love, and good intention, I feel safe. For now I need to add to my Mojo and rock the f*ck out of this world and the opportunities that present themselves.Cokashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170000660349809248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5896792819338102214.post-79588830218221577252011-11-11T10:41:00.001-08:002011-11-11T11:02:46.632-08:0011.11.11Wow, I haven't blogged in awhile. Today felt like a good day to put some thoughts in the records and check in with myself. Well, things worked out better than they could have. Certainly perfect wouldn't be the word to describe it but I'm not complaining either. After my run in with doubt confusion and self loathing I came around. I've got my mojo back, only this time it's different and maybe better. It's not that nothing can stop me, it's that I'm ready to soar, I'm ready to not regret my life. I'm excited to help my children grow and dream and marry those two things into an amazing life for themselves. I have decisions to make that mean a lot to a lot of people, I think that is the position I have been striving for. Sometimes it's stressful and makes me look in the rearview mirror to make sure I'm on the right path, other times it let's me push people and help them accomplish things they doubted they could. What I need to find is the way not to be the boss when it comes to my wife, she needs something different. I'm working on it and I'm also leaving it alone. She married me for me and she is certainly getting that. Am I a better person now then I was on 6.19.04? I am. I think now it is time to focus, time to decide what the best path is and how to accomplish it in a harmonious way. My peaceful house on a beautiful Autumn day with my girls napping and me reminiscing is a nice way to start. Peace and Love, Happy Veterans Day!Cokashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170000660349809248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5896792819338102214.post-42477285206294079892011-03-07T07:24:00.000-08:002011-03-07T07:39:32.863-08:00All good things must.......I wish I could finish my own title, I wish I knew where I should go and what I should do. The truth is that I don't. I've changed now, permanently, and it's not clear what the purpose of this change is. All I know is that it is major. I have a new view of myself, my relationship, and my baseline. Can this be a good thing? Can this be destructive? Should I act upon my feelings? Should I persevere and take the road that makes sense? These are the questions that I have to answer. As much as I am afraid to answer them, putting them off doesn't fix anything. Do things need to get fixed? Yes, yes they do. I had some truly scary thoughts, feelings and ideas about what I should, could and will do. What I am sure of is that my children were born to teach me, learn from me, and share my world with me. They are the pinnacle of my existence, without them I would question my own existence and my own reality. In reading my last post I was able to step back in time and enjoy thoughts that were uncomplicated, clear and rational. Things are not that way now. Things are fucked! My heart hurts, my focus is gone, and I am not me. I look forward to........I'll let you know.Cokashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170000660349809248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5896792819338102214.post-21580627426032768572011-01-21T15:42:00.000-08:002011-01-21T16:00:56.545-08:00The SorcererWow so looking back and seeing that I only blogged once last year speaks volumes to me. I had an amazing year. My little girl grew up so much, my boys started Montessori school and are getting big and strong and smart, and my wife has gone through a major transformation. For me its hard to pinpoint exactly what to mention first. Missy and I have been trying to get back to our actual people roots and not just be parents but people as well. We have been going out, dancing, seeing music, art and trying to be a part of the culture that surrounds us. I've been loving every minute of it. Missy is a little frustrated with how much time at home, the repetition, the monotony, the loneliness of being a mother of 3 young children. Things are definitely coming to a head and what I mean is that some sort of major change is about to occur. To say I'm scared about it would be the honest thing to do. It's not that I'm not willing to change its that change takes longer for me. I need to reject it, think it through, and come back with a new twist on it that makes me feel like it was my call. That's just how I work. I thought Missy knew that by now but she is more of a spur of the moment type. Sometimes I just have these moments of clarity that are spurred from my situation, a certain song, a flight through the mountains, nature, sex, drugs or a combination thereof. Today, flying through the Colorado Rockies and seeing the majesty of snow filled peaks that twinkled and roared was one of those moments. I put my headphones on and got chills through my body. I'm connected, I'm strong, and I'm the creator of my reality. Being a sorcerer to me is that feeling embodied. We are all sorcerers, but if you don't know how to use your power you might as well not know it. I know it, I feel it and I am ready to embrace it. To start I'm going to do something every day to push towards my goal of seeing this world with my family. Not worrying about the dangers of the places that surround us but pushing through to see, learn and feel all there is for us to explore. I'm a lucky Dad, husband, man and sorcerer. Now it's time to use all of the powers awarded to those things. Watch out world here we come!!Cokashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170000660349809248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5896792819338102214.post-9530604490245877102010-05-28T11:28:00.000-07:002010-05-28T11:39:00.564-07:00Memorial DayLooking forward to taking the kids camping this weekend. We have been so crazy with the opening of HQ, work travel, gardening and housework that I almost forgot about blogging. I have a lot to report, first of all I am in the midst of a spiritual awakening. My new diet is making me feel fantastic and the books I have been reading are spring boarding my awareness to a whole new level. Kryon book 1 was an epic step in what was an already fast moving pulse of energy inside me. I am excited to read on and even more excited to change guides and grow as an individual. Melissa has also been rejuvenated and we are in love all over again. The kids have absolutely grown and grown and Naiomi is coming in to her own and showing signs that she will be talking soon. Gotta run and grab the boys from Yia Yia. Talk soonCokashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170000660349809248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5896792819338102214.post-10530286097910748812009-12-22T17:30:00.000-08:002009-12-22T17:36:44.550-08:00What happened to fall?Wow! After reading my last post I am inspired to follow up. We have done some polishing and we are entering some new territory so there is a nice balance of interest for me. Coffee is looking promising and recession proof and fun. My work is shaping up to be the perfect job again. My family is my absolute rock. Each of the members in my family needs to keep it up, they are all being so hilarious and fun that the effort and energy that I run out of doesn't even bother me. Sure we bicker but we get over it fast and we move on. We have had so many great dinner parties and nights out that it's hard to single any one out. All I can say is that I feel truly rich and it has nothing to do with money. We all go through moments we want to last and moments we wish would fly by, but sometimes it's hard to stop and recognize this fact. I'm in it and I know it and it feels right. Now for an amazing Winter.Cokashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170000660349809248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5896792819338102214.post-51460118708985629412009-09-04T11:45:00.000-07:002009-09-04T12:54:52.892-07:00Summer better than othersThis Summer has definitely been unique. Tons of rain and cool weather and many beautiful weekends. Everyone's take on it is different but for me it has been all I could have asked for. We got lots of great days on the beach and got to spend tons of time with the kids and friends. My 4 year olds favorite thing is dinner parties. He loves having people over and entertaining. The shop has been steady too. Summer is never our best time of year for business but it really feels like we're turning the corner and maturing as a business and as owners. We have a long weekend coming and then a week of vacation to chill and enjoy our family and friends. So the question I have for myself is, do I rest on my laurels and polish the things I have or do I continue to bite off a little more than I can chew and live near the edge? Both have their advantages and both are tempting. I'm always more tempted to chase the unknown but in this case it feels right to do a little polishing. Work can be improved and fun. The Shop can be improved and profitable and the family is in a fun state. Kids aren't in School yet and seeing the interaction of the 4 year old with the 2 year old and the baby is more than entertaining and tiring, it's incredible. I still have high hopes of making this the best Summer ever, here I go.Cokashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170000660349809248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5896792819338102214.post-25190723519154806882009-06-29T13:00:00.000-07:002009-06-29T13:14:22.137-07:00WTF?! Relax, Press On, SmileOk seriously, I am at a crossroads and for no apparent reason. My job is doing nothing for me, it's lost a lot of it's luster and it leaves me contemplating too often about what I should do. The coffee house seems stagnant, as much upside as there is, I don't feel like I have a lot of control or time to make a big difference. The kids are doing awesome but I want them to be happy and to make us happy and sometimes it feels like we're all driving ourselves crazy. What should I do right now? Is it the right time to make a drastic move? Should I stay put and wait for things to change? Is it the weather? I have had strange feelings and never know exactly what to do. Normally when this happens I shake it off and come up with a plan, some exciting new project or opportunity that leaves me excited and planning for the next step. I kind of don't want a new plan, got too much doin' as it is, just want to chill out and have fun. Here in-lies the issue. When it's time to "have fun" I'm getting frustrated and pressing. I can't seem to relax because the kids are relentlessly needing things and I feel obligated to acknowledge. I know people look at me like, "dude, these are the best years of your life" but you know what, Fuck that. My whole life are the best years of my life. I'm going to enjoy myself no matter what age I'm at. My wife wants me to start listening to some of her books and videos to gain some perspective, I'll try it but pressuring me to do so is also making me not want to do it. I've just lost a little purpose recently and I'm looking for something to put me back in action. Something I can get psyched about. For now I'm going to work on my relationship with the kids, we're close and I want to be able to tap in to that youth. I need some of their energy to rub off on me so I can just be happy about what I have. Maybe I have exactly what I want. Maybe I'm too worried about what I should want. Time to tap into the energy fields around and go on a journey. I'm going for it and I'm going in fast!!Cokashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170000660349809248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5896792819338102214.post-29531482429762590602009-06-23T11:52:00.001-07:002009-06-23T12:00:23.839-07:00First Day of SchoolSo we dropped our two boys off at day care today for the first time in theirs and our lives. It was difficult and I tried to avoid it but my wife quickly caught me in the act and insisted I be part of the process. At first they were cool with it but when it came time for us to depart they let us have it. They cried and complained and really got through to both of us in our hearts. My wife and I have stayed in contact today supporting each other and wondering how it will pan out. Of course we called and double checked and they said after the first 15 minutes they were playing together and having fun but it kind of seemed like a protocol response. I just hope they can gain from this and make some friends and learn a little everyday. I also hope they miss me and my wife like crazy so that when we are rich and traveling the world together they can appreciate the time. Life can provide these day to day occurrences that make you sit and wonder and remember. Everyone I've talked to today remembers their first time being dropped off to school or preschool and thats what made me realize how big of a moment it was. The boys are so great and have such a bright future in store, I am excited to be a part of it and can't wait to hear how today went.Cokashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170000660349809248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5896792819338102214.post-10446289587755668852009-05-20T10:36:00.000-07:002009-05-20T10:42:15.514-07:00Sadness surroundsI'm not sure exactly what is happening these days but something is in the air. There have been a lot of sad things happening and tragedies have been happening too often. I know the world works like this and that we all lose things and people and memories as we grow but it seems like it's happening now more than ever. What I keep focusing on is the turnaround, the outcome, the breaking point. When will it be here? What needs to happen to bring all of these suffering people joy? Music is always the first thing I think of when I am searching for something to make people happy. We are coming up on some beautiful weather and some fantastic music this Summer and I'm banking on that to be the difference. Energy needs to be turned towards happiness and we all need to appreciate the joys and people in our lives. I have to keep my focus and my family helps me do that. We are all marching together and looking forward to bright times ahead for everyone.Cokashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170000660349809248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5896792819338102214.post-72888323350053431332009-04-07T12:48:00.000-07:002009-04-07T12:57:02.251-07:00Good to goJust got all of my work stuff packed for Asian X. I'm looking forward to Shanghai and discovering a piece of this world that I haven't seen. I'm psyched that my wife is going to try to come and that will be a huge comfort because I'm already missing the kids. Cobe told me that he wants to come and I would love to bring him but with how many hours I will have to dedicate to work it's just not possible. Kai is starting to really understand what is going on around him and he will be wondering where we are too. My boys are my rock, they love me unconditionally and I love them more than anything. Melissa and Naiomi will be with me to comfort me and reminisce so that will make time fly. One day I'll bring my whole family with me on my trips because work will be life and life will be doing good in the world, making a difference. That's one of those phrases that I hear that makes me question my actions every time. Am I making a difference? Am I helping this world we live in? I think what gives me the most comfort is my family, I feel that we're tied together forever regardless of anything.....can I have that? I'm going to have that. I'm going to keep that with me, it feels right.Cokashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170000660349809248noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5896792819338102214.post-91723236533215003172009-03-30T07:45:00.000-07:002009-03-30T07:54:10.562-07:00How did this happen!?Lately I find myself asking this question all the time? How did this happen? and by this I mean all of it, the family, the coffeehouse, the job, the music, the friends.....it goes on and on. I'm not complaining by any means. In fact it's the opposite. I'm just trying to decide if it's because I wanted it to, I willed it or if there is some kind of fate. Do I want to know the answer? I can't even answer that one. I guess the next thing to decide is if I want more control or less. The ladder is definitely more tempting and feels more right. The kids have allowed me to see the natural instincts toward life and have also pointed out my own weaknesses along the way. I have an extremely short fuse. It's something I need to get a handle on sooner than later. My wife is great about it because she knows and can let me know that I'm already over the top. Yoga, meditation and exercise seem to help the most but with limited time dedicated to any of the three lately I have been a little short with people. I'm addressing it......enjoying the ride along the way and thanking fate for the time being.Cokashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02170000660349809248noreply@blogger.com0