It's happening….

We have been killing it!  Trips to Colorado, California, events at the dome and constant creation and manifestation.  There is so much to be thankful for and at the same time so much to accomplish.  The dome is an amazing place to have as our home base.  The shows and events that have taken place here since we have moved in are just epic.  It's amazing that just now it is coming full circle and that we are returning to Costa Rica to revisit Finca Mia and to sit with Cristina in addition to attending Envision Festival over our 3 week excursion.  The kids are excited, Melissa and I are excited, and along the way so much has been happening and evolving.  We are looking forward to building an eco-village right in our backyard and growing the ever amazing group of people that continue to work hard, play hard, and create so much beauty.  The art, the music, the events, the magic.  I have so much to say but for now I'm just checking in to say thank you.  I have grown, I have learned, I am grateful.  I know that the key for me is the details, the nuances, and the subtleties.  All of the little things that really make the difference in life and really show people that care.  I am practicing this, I am working towards becoming the person I want to be.  Letting go of smoking on June 9th, 2014 was simple and necessary. Letting go of drinking alcohol on September 20th, 2014 has been liberating.  These are small steps in the path to an enlightened and satisfied person.  I've been meditating, learning music, practicing circus arts, snowboarding, and spending amazing QT with my family.  I will continue down this path and I will grow.  I have a lot of love to give, I am so thankful to the people around me.  I'll try to come here again soon.  For now, love and light.

Here we go!

This keeps happening.  I have a ton of stuff going on, going down, and I'm not sure if its driving me crazy or keeping me going.  Is the grant coming?  I think so.  Are we buying a geodesic dome home?  I think so.  Is Bean & Leaf moving?  Yes.  Am I in love with my wife?  Yes.  Is work everything I hoped it would be?  I think so.  The only thing I would change right now is the time I get with the kids and away from work.  It's an extremely fine line with working, vacation, weekends, and side work, side commitments, and QT with my family.  I want people around me to be happy and I try to make that so. As long as I stay focused on happiness, love, and good intention, I feel safe.  For now I need to add to my Mojo and rock the f*ck out of this world and the opportunities that present themselves.

11.11.11

Wow, I haven't blogged in awhile. Today felt like a good day to put some thoughts in the records and check in with myself. Well, things worked out better than they could have. Certainly perfect wouldn't be the word to describe it but I'm not complaining either. After my run in with doubt confusion and self loathing I came around. I've got my mojo back, only this time it's different and maybe better. It's not that nothing can stop me, it's that I'm ready to soar, I'm ready to not regret my life. I'm excited to help my children grow and dream and marry those two things into an amazing life for themselves. I have decisions to make that mean a lot to a lot of people, I think that is the position I have been striving for. Sometimes it's stressful and makes me look in the rearview mirror to make sure I'm on the right path, other times it let's me push people and help them accomplish things they doubted they could. What I need to find is the way not to be the boss when it comes to my wife, she needs something different. I'm working on it and I'm also leaving it alone. She married me for me and she is certainly getting that. Am I a better person now then I was on 6.19.04? I am. I think now it is time to focus, time to decide what the best path is and how to accomplish it in a harmonious way. My peaceful house on a beautiful Autumn day with my girls napping and me reminiscing is a nice way to start. Peace and Love, Happy Veterans Day!

All good things must.......

I wish I could finish my own title, I wish I knew where I should go and what I should do. The truth is that I don't. I've changed now, permanently, and it's not clear what the purpose of this change is. All I know is that it is major. I have a new view of myself, my relationship, and my baseline. Can this be a good thing? Can this be destructive? Should I act upon my feelings? Should I persevere and take the road that makes sense? These are the questions that I have to answer. As much as I am afraid to answer them, putting them off doesn't fix anything. Do things need to get fixed? Yes, yes they do. I had some truly scary thoughts, feelings and ideas about what I should, could and will do. What I am sure of is that my children were born to teach me, learn from me, and share my world with me. They are the pinnacle of my existence, without them I would question my own existence and my own reality. In reading my last post I was able to step back in time and enjoy thoughts that were uncomplicated, clear and rational. Things are not that way now. Things are fucked! My heart hurts, my focus is gone, and I am not me. I look forward to........I'll let you know.

The Sorcerer

Wow so looking back and seeing that I only blogged once last year speaks volumes to me. I had an amazing year. My little girl grew up so much, my boys started Montessori school and are getting big and strong and smart, and my wife has gone through a major transformation. For me its hard to pinpoint exactly what to mention first. Missy and I have been trying to get back to our actual people roots and not just be parents but people as well. We have been going out, dancing, seeing music, art and trying to be a part of the culture that surrounds us. I've been loving every minute of it. Missy is a little frustrated with how much time at home, the repetition, the monotony, the loneliness of being a mother of 3 young children. Things are definitely coming to a head and what I mean is that some sort of major change is about to occur. To say I'm scared about it would be the honest thing to do. It's not that I'm not willing to change its that change takes longer for me. I need to reject it, think it through, and come back with a new twist on it that makes me feel like it was my call. That's just how I work. I thought Missy knew that by now but she is more of a spur of the moment type. Sometimes I just have these moments of clarity that are spurred from my situation, a certain song, a flight through the mountains, nature, sex, drugs or a combination thereof. Today, flying through the Colorado Rockies and seeing the majesty of snow filled peaks that twinkled and roared was one of those moments. I put my headphones on and got chills through my body. I'm connected, I'm strong, and I'm the creator of my reality. Being a sorcerer to me is that feeling embodied. We are all sorcerers, but if you don't know how to use your power you might as well not know it. I know it, I feel it and I am ready to embrace it. To start I'm going to do something every day to push towards my goal of seeing this world with my family. Not worrying about the dangers of the places that surround us but pushing through to see, learn and feel all there is for us to explore. I'm a lucky Dad, husband, man and sorcerer. Now it's time to use all of the powers awarded to those things. Watch out world here we come!!

Memorial Day

Looking forward to taking the kids camping this weekend. We have been so crazy with the opening of HQ, work travel, gardening and housework that I almost forgot about blogging. I have a lot to report, first of all I am in the midst of a spiritual awakening. My new diet is making me feel fantastic and the books I have been reading are spring boarding my awareness to a whole new level. Kryon book 1 was an epic step in what was an already fast moving pulse of energy inside me. I am excited to read on and even more excited to change guides and grow as an individual. Melissa has also been rejuvenated and we are in love all over again. The kids have absolutely grown and grown and Naiomi is coming in to her own and showing signs that she will be talking soon. Gotta run and grab the boys from Yia Yia. Talk soon

What happened to fall?

Wow! After reading my last post I am inspired to follow up. We have done some polishing and we are entering some new territory so there is a nice balance of interest for me. Coffee is looking promising and recession proof and fun. My work is shaping up to be the perfect job again. My family is my absolute rock. Each of the members in my family needs to keep it up, they are all being so hilarious and fun that the effort and energy that I run out of doesn't even bother me. Sure we bicker but we get over it fast and we move on. We have had so many great dinner parties and nights out that it's hard to single any one out. All I can say is that I feel truly rich and it has nothing to do with money. We all go through moments we want to last and moments we wish would fly by, but sometimes it's hard to stop and recognize this fact. I'm in it and I know it and it feels right. Now for an amazing Winter.