Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Wow! After reading my last post I am inspired to follow up. We have done some polishing and we are entering some new territory so there is a nice balance of interest for me. Coffee is looking promising and recession proof and fun. My work is shaping up to be the perfect job again. My family is my absolute rock. Each of the members in my family needs to keep it up, they are all being so hilarious and fun that the effort and energy that I run out of doesn't even bother me. Sure we bicker but we get over it fast and we move on. We have had so many great dinner parties and nights out that it's hard to single any one out. All I can say is that I feel truly rich and it has nothing to do with money. We all go through moments we want to last and moments we wish would fly by, but sometimes it's hard to stop and recognize this fact. I'm in it and I know it and it feels right. Now for an amazing Winter.
Friday, September 4, 2009
This Summer has definitely been unique. Tons of rain and cool weather and many beautiful weekends. Everyone's take on it is different but for me it has been all I could have asked for. We got lots of great days on the beach and got to spend tons of time with the kids and friends. My 4 year olds favorite thing is dinner parties. He loves having people over and entertaining. The shop has been steady too. Summer is never our best time of year for business but it really feels like we're turning the corner and maturing as a business and as owners. We have a long weekend coming and then a week of vacation to chill and enjoy our family and friends. So the question I have for myself is, do I rest on my laurels and polish the things I have or do I continue to bite off a little more than I can chew and live near the edge? Both have their advantages and both are tempting. I'm always more tempted to chase the unknown but in this case it feels right to do a little polishing. Work can be improved and fun. The Shop can be improved and profitable and the family is in a fun state. Kids aren't in School yet and seeing the interaction of the 4 year old with the 2 year old and the baby is more than entertaining and tiring, it's incredible. I still have high hopes of making this the best Summer ever, here I go.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Ok seriously, I am at a crossroads and for no apparent reason. My job is doing nothing for me, it's lost a lot of it's luster and it leaves me contemplating too often about what I should do. The coffee house seems stagnant, as much upside as there is, I don't feel like I have a lot of control or time to make a big difference. The kids are doing awesome but I want them to be happy and to make us happy and sometimes it feels like we're all driving ourselves crazy. What should I do right now? Is it the right time to make a drastic move? Should I stay put and wait for things to change? Is it the weather? I have had strange feelings and never know exactly what to do. Normally when this happens I shake it off and come up with a plan, some exciting new project or opportunity that leaves me excited and planning for the next step. I kind of don't want a new plan, got too much doin' as it is, just want to chill out and have fun. Here in-lies the issue. When it's time to "have fun" I'm getting frustrated and pressing. I can't seem to relax because the kids are relentlessly needing things and I feel obligated to acknowledge. I know people look at me like, "dude, these are the best years of your life" but you know what, Fuck that. My whole life are the best years of my life. I'm going to enjoy myself no matter what age I'm at. My wife wants me to start listening to some of her books and videos to gain some perspective, I'll try it but pressuring me to do so is also making me not want to do it. I've just lost a little purpose recently and I'm looking for something to put me back in action. Something I can get psyched about. For now I'm going to work on my relationship with the kids, we're close and I want to be able to tap in to that youth. I need some of their energy to rub off on me so I can just be happy about what I have. Maybe I have exactly what I want. Maybe I'm too worried about what I should want. Time to tap into the energy fields around and go on a journey. I'm going for it and I'm going in fast!!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
So we dropped our two boys off at day care today for the first time in theirs and our lives. It was difficult and I tried to avoid it but my wife quickly caught me in the act and insisted I be part of the process. At first they were cool with it but when it came time for us to depart they let us have it. They cried and complained and really got through to both of us in our hearts. My wife and I have stayed in contact today supporting each other and wondering how it will pan out. Of course we called and double checked and they said after the first 15 minutes they were playing together and having fun but it kind of seemed like a protocol response. I just hope they can gain from this and make some friends and learn a little everyday. I also hope they miss me and my wife like crazy so that when we are rich and traveling the world together they can appreciate the time. Life can provide these day to day occurrences that make you sit and wonder and remember. Everyone I've talked to today remembers their first time being dropped off to school or preschool and thats what made me realize how big of a moment it was. The boys are so great and have such a bright future in store, I am excited to be a part of it and can't wait to hear how today went.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I'm not sure exactly what is happening these days but something is in the air. There have been a lot of sad things happening and tragedies have been happening too often. I know the world works like this and that we all lose things and people and memories as we grow but it seems like it's happening now more than ever. What I keep focusing on is the turnaround, the outcome, the breaking point. When will it be here? What needs to happen to bring all of these suffering people joy? Music is always the first thing I think of when I am searching for something to make people happy. We are coming up on some beautiful weather and some fantastic music this Summer and I'm banking on that to be the difference. Energy needs to be turned towards happiness and we all need to appreciate the joys and people in our lives. I have to keep my focus and my family helps me do that. We are all marching together and looking forward to bright times ahead for everyone.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Just got all of my work stuff packed for Asian X. I'm looking forward to Shanghai and discovering a piece of this world that I haven't seen. I'm psyched that my wife is going to try to come and that will be a huge comfort because I'm already missing the kids. Cobe told me that he wants to come and I would love to bring him but with how many hours I will have to dedicate to work it's just not possible. Kai is starting to really understand what is going on around him and he will be wondering where we are too. My boys are my rock, they love me unconditionally and I love them more than anything. Melissa and Naiomi will be with me to comfort me and reminisce so that will make time fly. One day I'll bring my whole family with me on my trips because work will be life and life will be doing good in the world, making a difference. That's one of those phrases that I hear that makes me question my actions every time. Am I making a difference? Am I helping this world we live in? I think what gives me the most comfort is my family, I feel that we're tied together forever regardless of anything.....can I have that? I'm going to have that. I'm going to keep that with me, it feels right.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Lately I find myself asking this question all the time? How did this happen? and by this I mean all of it, the family, the coffeehouse, the job, the music, the friends.....it goes on and on. I'm not complaining by any means. In fact it's the opposite. I'm just trying to decide if it's because I wanted it to, I willed it or if there is some kind of fate. Do I want to know the answer? I can't even answer that one. I guess the next thing to decide is if I want more control or less. The ladder is definitely more tempting and feels more right. The kids have allowed me to see the natural instincts toward life and have also pointed out my own weaknesses along the way. I have an extremely short fuse. It's something I need to get a handle on sooner than later. My wife is great about it because she knows and can let me know that I'm already over the top. Yoga, meditation and exercise seem to help the most but with limited time dedicated to any of the three lately I have been a little short with people. I'm addressing it......enjoying the ride along the way and thanking fate for the time being.